BRANDONPEDIA

the n·1 stop for anything and everything BRK related

Coffee

Coffee is the most popular drug in today's world, it's a psychostimulant known for its pronounced psychological effects as well its many nefarious endocrinological outcomes, research has suggested these include but are not limited to:

• Homicidal ideation.
• Homosexual ideation.
• A strong urgue to bite people's faces off.
• The sensation of being watched.
• Prostate Cancer.
• Type III diabetes.
• Male Pattern Baldness
• A growing obsession with some nobody called Brandon Robert Kelly (not to be confussed with Brandon Robert Kennedy).
• Erectile dysfunction.
• Diarrhea.
• Constipation.

Coffee took its first victims in the 13th Century in Ethiopia, poisoning some innocent goats.

Many wise Ulema declared it "haram" in the 16th Century, unfortunately, nothing could stop the spread of this plague.

Coffee can be blamed for the US' independence from Great Britain and many other tragedies, Coffee was often consumed by Nazi Germany's "Ghost Division" in combination with milder drugs such as metamphetamine. Serial killer Donald Harvey "the IT clown" was a frecuent Coffee user.